The Basics of Bondage and Getting Into BDSM

There are many different ways to use each of the Bondage toys and they are largely up to your interpretation and we feel like our fetish customers are some of the most creative customers, we often have to caution them to back up and play safe.  

It's much better to get a toy intended for a specific use than to repurpose something that may not be tested or approved for skin or intimate contact.

If you choose the dip a toe in the bondage waters here are a few things to keep in mind as you shop for your dungeon.  (Or bedroom -- no judgment on what you call your intimate space.)

Eye Mask:  A soft eye mask is an awesome way to start a night of restraint with your partner.  An eyemask cuts out visuals so the important every sound and sensation is amplified and suddenly you have your lover's undivided attention.  

No phone, no grocery list no thought of anything else but what you are doing and the imagination starts to run wild to figure out what will happen next.  

Handcuffs or restraints:  There are so many options when it comes to Restraints.  From simple handcuffs to Japanese silk rope to harnesses and hog-ties.  There really are 50 to restrain your lover. 

Let your imagination run wild but remember to pick up a pair of safety scissors or my fave; a seat belt cutter and if someone feels faint or queasy or just freaks out a little make sure there is a quick way to release them from the restraints.  

Even if it means slicing through some elaborate knotwork.  Safety should always be paramount when it comes to BDSM activities.

Whips and crops:  There are many choices in whips and crops and personal preference just has to be explored.  some people like the sound and some people like the snap. Order a variety and of styles and finishes to see what your partner likes.

Vibrator:  Sex toys, of course, come in many shapes and styles and can be used to create different sensations all over the body especially while one is bound and blindfolded.

Anal Toys:  Why not use the opportunity to try different sensations with an anal toy while experimenting with other things.

Kegel balls:  Or Ben Wa balls.  These are mostly used as devices to strength the kegel muscles while not having sex.  They can create an amazing sensation if inserted before a spanking. (As described in 50 shades of grey.)

Lube:  Lube is an essential enhancement for any intimate encounter but can be another layer of sensation and a great time to try a warming or cooling lube to create another mystery for someone to wonder about as they are bound and blindfolded.

Thanks for shopping with Romantic Adventures, of course, we think we are one of the best places for bondage in the south but if we are not the closest sex toy shop to you we can ship it straight to your house with discreet shipping. 

Read on for more our essential beginner's guide to BDSM:

Getting Into BDSM: 9 Essential Tips for Beginners

According to one survey, 36% of adults in America participate in BDSM. 

More people than you know have started practicing BDSM, thanks to the popular series Fifty Shades of Gray. 

Are you thinking about getting into BDSM? There are some things you should know before you get to the action. Read our nine BDSM tips for beginners and have fun!

1. Come Up With Some Rules

One of the most important things you should do is sit down with your partner and come up with a set of rules. 

It may seem difficult at first to come up with some rules, but just think about what you want them to do. What do you absolutely not want them to do? How far are you willing to experiment?

You can also ask yourself questions like what do you want out of the relationship or agreement? You could make rules for outside of your relationship too. Do you want this to be a short term or long term relationship? This will also change the rules.

Safe words should come first on the rule book. These are what will be used to get your partner to stop what they’re doing. Since “no” and “stop” can be fun to say in BDSM role play situations it’s a good idea to make these standout. Words like “Banana” or “Red Light” make it easy to interpret.

If you fully commit to the dominance and submission, or dom/sub, relationship, you may have rules about how the other person can interact with other people in public. 

You and your partner may agree not to wear any underwear at home or if you go out in public. You should also establish the consequences if you break these rules. 

To start out with a small rule, a classic one is making the sub ask the dom for permission to orgasm. 

2. Go Slowly

There is so much to explore in the world of BDSM, and it can be exciting. You may feel like you want to try everything at once, but you should start out by going slowly. 

It can be tempting to try everything, but make sure you start with only a few rules at first. After that, you can work your way up.

Try light BDSM first and push your boundaries slowly to see what you and your partner can handle in the bedroom. 

3. Start With a Blindfold

If you're new to BDSM, a good way to start small is by just including a blindfold into your sex life. 

A blindfold can help heighten the other senses, making the sensations even more enjoyable. 

If you are the one who chooses to be blindfolded, it can also make the experience so much more exciting. You aren't sure what is going to happen next, and this is a really simple way to toy with the idea of giving up control in the bedroom. 

If you are going to incorporate BDSM into your sex life with your partner, you will need to make sure you trust them. A blindfold can be a simple way to start building that trust. 

4. Figure Out Your Limits

If you're new to BDSM, you should also make sure that you start to figure out your limits. This applies to being either a dom or a sub. 

If you are a dom, you should make sure you listen to your partner's boundaries and make sure that you never cross them. 

By experimenting with different things that you're comfortable with, you may discover something else that you didn't know you would be into. Maybe you enjoy being tied up. Maybe you enjoy being spanked.

If you're not comfortable with anything outside your limits, your partner shouldn't pressure you into going outside of those limits. 

5. Tell Your Partner About Your Fantasy

If you are interested in getting into BDSM, you may have to find that you need to bring it up to your partner first. How will they know you want to re-enact every sex scene from Fifty Shades of Grey if you don’t talk about it first and make a plan?

If neither of you has expressed interest in it before, it can be a very scary thing to bring up. You may have all kinds of different thoughts about it and start creating worst-case scenarios.

However, good relationships are built on a foundation of strong communication. And, each of you needs to be 100 percent into participating in this type of play.

If you are interested in it, you should really talk to your partner. Sit them down and explain it to them. They should be understanding, and if they don't want to try it, try not to push them into doing something they don't want to do. 

There are a lot of people that this lifestyle isn’t for and that’s ok but, you don’t want anyone to feel pressured or uncomfortable in this type of sexual intimacy. The whole experience hinges on trust and no one can trust someone who forces them past their limits.

6. Just Let Go

You may feel like you are being judged by your partner. You may even feel like you're judging yourself, and because of these feelings, it can be hard to let go and enjoy yourself.

However, BDSM encourages you to just get rid of all that judgment and preconceived ideas about what sex is or isn't. 

One of the best BDSM tips is to just just enjoy yourself and have fun. 

7. Try Restraint

Remember how we said in BDSM sometimes the sub asks the dom for permission to orgasm? 

Using restraint can be a fun way to experiment with that as well. In BDSM, restraint is normally called "edging." 

This can be where you bring your partner close to orgasm, but then you stop and let them hang "on the edge." The more times you do this, the better the sensations will be. 

8. Practice Aftercare

Whether you have a light or heavy BDSM session, you should always practice aftercare. This is definitely one of the BDSM basics. 

This is a good, intimate way to bond with your partner and make sure that they're physically and emotionally okay afterward. You can ask them directly afterward, and then you should follow up again the next day as well.

Sometimes, submissives can have their emotions crash afterward when all the oxytocin and endorphins that were coursing through their body drop. 

This is why it's important to make sure that they're okay.  

9. Be Honest

Along with good communication, you also need to make sure that you are honest with your partner.

BDSM only works if both parties are honest in their communication because there needs to be a lot of trusts for it to work safely.

There is nothing more intimate than knowing your partner trusts you that much or by showing your partner just how much you trust them. 

It can be scary at first to bring it up, but you never know if they've secretly been wanting the same thing. When you both explore your fantasy, you have the potential for the best sex you've ever had. 

Learn More About Getting into BDSM

Getting into BDSM can seem scary at first, but if you follow this BDSM guide, you may find that you wish you had tried it earlier.

Along with practicing these tips, it's also helpful (and fun) to add other equipment and sex toys into the equation.

We have you covered! To get started, make sure that you check out this under the bed restraint to help you start experimenting with bondage!