History and Etymology for Bondage as it Relates to the B in BDSM

Bondage: The Ultimate Guide and The Best Gear and Accessories

We're big fans of bondage.

We love the way it makes us feel, the way we look in our gear, and how kinky sex is when you're wearing restraints. But there's more to it than that!

Bondage can be a form of communication between partners as well as just a great form of foreplay or sex toy. Some people might think that bondage requires serious experience with rope tying or going all out with suspension equipment. But, you can start way more simply than that.

We've got your back here at Romantic Adventures because this post includes everything you need to know about enjoying bondage safely- from how to set up your first time to what supplies are needed for beginners.

What Is Sexual Bondage?

Bondage is a part of the BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance/submission, and sado-/masochism) scene. It is a type of erotic play where one partner gets restrained. This is usually done with rope, cloth, cuffs, or a mixture of these restraints.

The submissive, or bottom, is restrained by the dominant, or top, during this erotic play.

The media usually displays the submissive as an unwilling participant in sexual bondage. However, the truth is that consent is paramount during bondage play or any variety of BDSM.

Everyone involved must agree to what will be included during the session. A safe-word (or signal) will be chosen for the submissive to use to halt the session if they want to stop.

What you're about to learn may surprise you.

Why Bondage Is Enticing

Bondage and other aspects of BDSM involve a shift in the power dynamic between the participants. Allowing this shift to occur requires both consent to the bondage and loss of control and the utmost trust between all parties involved.

Part of bondage's appeal is the ability to explore this trust with your partner when you are at your most vulnerable.

Another enticing appeal is the ability to gain or let go of control during the bondage session. For people who lack control in their everyday lives, regaining that control during a bondage session can be cathartic.

Likewise, for someone that has to take charge often in their daily lives, giving up that control during a session can be a relaxing experience.

You can pursue it in literally any way your imagination presents it but we suggest...

Try Using Ropes

One of the most important tips on our list of safe bondage tips is having some knowledge about ropes. While you don't necessarily have to use ropes in bondage that is what gets many people interested in it in the first place. That's why it's important to learn a little bit about it.

Knowing how to tie a basic knot is an important thing as a beginner. Keep in mind, though, that you should use a material that you can place flat against your partner's wrists or ankles. This will prevent cutting off circulation.

Our sex shop has lots of different materials and styles of rope and restraints to choose from.

History and Etymology of Bondage

The beginnings of the word bondage come from the Middle English word 'bond,' which refers to the "legal condition of a serf." This term later evolved into the Old English word 'bonda,' which means "householder."

The first modern portrayal of the definition of bondage in reference to BDSM comes from a 1963 New York law that prohibited publications from portraying bondage.

History of Sexual Bondage

While we may think of all sorts of dark imagery when we hear the terms 'bondage' and 'BDSM', these aren't accurate portrayals of the BDSM scene and are perpetrated mainly by the media for dramatic effect.

Bondage and BDSM actually have a long, complicated history that goes back further than most of us would expect.

Mesopotamia and Ancient Greece

The earliest accounts of bondage and BDSM date back to Mesopotamia, according to historian Anne O'Nomis, and come from a ritual dance for the goddess Inanna. The goddess had her subjects dance for her, and as the dance became more intense, she stirred her followers into a type of sexual frenzy.

While the dance was not enough to save Mesopotamia from its later fall, it did lay the groundwork for BDSM.

In Ancient Greece, we see evidence of ritual flagellation of both the men and women of Sparta. While historical interpretations of BDSM in Ancient Greece tend to focus on the physical act, culturally during that time, truth and sex were linked.

Couples saw sex as a way to transfer precious knowledge from one body to another. This process was different for every couple but was a common practice within that society.

Europe

Bondage and BDSM were brought to the public's attention through erotic art literature, including the Kamasutra. The Kamasutra is actually a guide for enlightenment rather than sex, as it is thought of today.

The text holds communication, consent, and trust in high esteem; it encourages respect and liberation from gender and sexual conformities.

Through the West's interpretation of erotic art and literature, the focus of BDSM shifted to control and sexual gratification rather than honesty and trust. We see this shift evidenced for years to come through the works of the Marquis De Sade.

America

Bondage and BDSM were brought to light in the US from underground sex magazines published in the 1940s and 1950s. This is partially where the contemporary look of BDSM (leather, high heels, latex, and bondage) comes from.

One of the most famous models for this style during that time was Bettie Page, who is often called the queen of pinups and BDSM.

In the early 21st century BDSM and bondage entered the public spotlight once again due to their influence on the looks of many popular brands such as Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein, among many others.

Today, there is a thriving BDSM and bondage community online and various clubs in the scene as well.

Types of Sexual Bondage

Now that we've dived a bit into the history let's explore some of the different types of bondage.

Shibari (Kinbaku): Originating in Japan, this bondage-style uses layering silk ropes and artful tying skills to turn the bound individual into a work of art.

Sensory Deprivation: This type of bondage is relatively self-explanatory. It uses restraints to reduce your ability to see, hear, and feel your surroundings.

Restrictive Bondage: This is the most common type of bondage and uses a variety of restraints to restrict an individual's ability to move.

Chastity Bondage: This kind of bondage utilizes chastity devices to prevent the wearer from having intercourse until their dominant releases them.

Predicament Bondage: This form of bondage focuses on restricting the submissive to an uncomfortable position; being hogtied is a good example. The end goal of this bondage type is to make the submissive squirm.

Have You Tried Bondage?

The world of sexual bondage and BDSM is vast, with variations for just about anyone's personal preferences. If you'd like to try out bondage with your partner, check out our selection of bondage kits to get you started.

Play safe, get consent, and enjoy.

Behavioral and Physiological Aspects of Bondage Play

Did you know that studies have been done to test the psychopathology of BDSM practitioners? A study from 2008 put 32 BDSM practitioners through seven psychometric tests, which looked at depression, anxiety, PTSD, sadism, and masochism, among others.

Their results might surprise you. The BDSM practitioners that participated in the study were found to have the same psychopathology rates as non-BDSM participants.

That certainly turns the notion that BDSM is a psychological red-flag on its head. Today, we’re going to explore the behavioral and physiological aspects of bondage to reveal the pleasure hidden behind the veil of mystery.

What Is Bondage?

Sexual bondage is a form of erotic play where one partner is restrained, typically with cuffs, rope, or other materials. During bondage play, the bound partner is the submissive (or bottom), and the partner performing the binding is the dominant (or top).

Sexual intercourse is not a requirement for this type of erotic play.

Bondage is one aspect of 'BDSM', that stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism.

While we’re placing more of a focus on bondage, in particular, it’s important to remember that it is one facet of a very diverse sexual subculture. Bondage can be erotic play in and of itself, but it is often practiced in tandem with other aspects of BDSM.

Bondage Education: Safe, Sane, and Consensual

Bondage, and BDSM as a whole, at their core, are about power dynamics.

Whether you’re the partner who is submitting and relinquishing control or you’re the partner dominating and running the show, bondage creates a shift in the power between the two of you.

Because this is the case, members of the BDSM community abide by a strict code of ethics based on BDSM play being safe, sane, and consensual.

Safety

Fancy equipment is not required to engage in bondage or other BDSM play, but there are a plethora of options for those of you who want to explore the world of kinky toys.

The reality is that these tools have the potential to leave lasting damage to your partner. You must study up not just on the toys you want to try but also on human anatomy.

Particularly in the case of bondage, there is the risk of circulation loss if the restraints are too tight. We recommend practicing tying knots and how to undo them before testing it out on your partner because of this risk.

It’s also critical to have a backup plan in place so that you can free your partner in the case of a medical emergency.

Sanity

As we mentioned above, bondage is a form of power play, and that means that both partners will be emotionally vulnerable during this type of sexual play. Emotional safety is critical for both partners and requires deep introspection for both of you.

You need to ask yourselves if the activities you’re going to engage in will open any emotional wounds for you and if you trust your partner to take care of you while you’re vulnerable.

Discuss your limits with your partner openly. We cannot stress enough that this is not the time to get shy and hold back. Set your boundaries and check in often with yourself and your partner during the session to ensure you both feel emotionally safe.

Consent

For bondage play to be both safe and sane, it requires mutual consent from all parties involved. This builds on our previous point about setting your limits, and an essential way to ensure those limits are not broken is to choose a safeword.

A safeword is a word or signal that either partner will use when the session needs to slow down or stop. Many couples will choose two different safewords, one to slow down play and one to stop the session completely.

While a safeword is an excellent safety net, you should also check in with your partner and observe their body language for any indications that they’re reaching their limit; when in doubt, trust your gut.

Bondage Physiological and Behavioral Aspects

Recent studies, such as the 2013 study from Wismeijer & van Assen, have sought to compare BDSM practitioners to the “general” populace. They looked at what is referred to as the big five personality traits:

Extraversion

Openness to experience

Neuroticism

Agreeableness

Conscientiousness

Perhaps unsurprisingly, BDSM practitioners scored higher than the control group when it came to openness to experience, as a willingness to experiment is a key part of the subculture.

The practitioners were also found to be highly conscientious, having an appreciation for discipline, orderliness, rules, and boundaries.

Bondage Physiological Aspects

Another study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine tested the levels of cortisol and endocannabinoids in 35 BDSM couples. They took blood samples from each participant at three points:

Before the play session

Immediately after the session

After a 20 minute aftercare period

They found that for submissive participants, both cortisol and endocannabinoid levels were raised after the BDSM session. They found no increases in cortisol for dominant participants, and endocannabinoid levels were only raised after a session that included power play.

Aftercare

For individuals who regularly participate in BDSM play, there is often a euphoric feeling during a session. This euphoria is most likely linked to raised endocannabinoid levels, but further research is needed.

Because this euphoria dies down after a session, it can leave participants feeling drained and vulnerable; this is why aftercare is essential.

Aftercare refers to the time you and your partner take after a session to recover physically and emotionally. Physical aftercare can include bundling up in a blanket, getting something to eat or drink, and tending to any areas that may have been marked during play.

Emotional aftercare includes discussing the session with your partner, recognizing any negative feelings that may have occurred, and ensuring both of your needs were met by the session.

Get More Bondage Information

Bondage and BDSM offer a whole new world to explore in terms of erotic play. We've gone over how this type of sensual experience can affect the body and mind, and how to engage in these activities safely.

We've only scratched the surface of the BDSM world today. If you’d like to learn more about bondage, check out the other articles on our blog. As always, keep it safe, sane, consensual, and have fun.

What You Need to Know About Trying Bondage

According to studies in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 69% of people have participated in BDSM or fantasized about doing it. While only 7.6% of people surveyed are regular participants in BDSM culture, 12.5% said they participate in certain activities from time to time.

If you're interested in trying bondage, a part of BDSM, this guide will give you all the tips you need to know. Keep reading to learn more.

Defining Bondage

Before diving into bondage activities in the bedroom you should first understand some bondage terminology. BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.

Bondage more specifically is an activity where you tie or restrain a partner, with consent, as a form of sexual stimulation. Before diving into this world there are some key things you should know and educate yourself on first, however.

Talk With Your Partner First

Whether you're participating in first-time bondage or you're a pro, communication is a huge part of sexual activity. This is why your first time trying bondage shouldn't be with a new sexual partner.

Trying something new with someone you trust is key to having a good time. Having a few conversations about some of your interests, the fantasies you or your partner might have is important.

You should also take this time to set some boundaries and create safe words so you don't end up crossing a line you don't feel comfortable with. Constant communication during and after a bondage session is part of the process. This way you can keep adjusting as you discover what you like.

You Can Incorporate Edging Into Your Bondage Routine

Edging, or controlling a partner's orgasm, while keeping them restrained, is another technique you can try in the bedroom. You can use your mouth, hands, or a toy to bring your partner close to orgasm before stopping all stimulation.

You'll then start again and continue this process until you finally help your partner cross the line. Delaying your partner's orgasm and taking control can help improve your sex life too.

Switching Roles Is Allowed

Other bondage tips you should know about include choosing roles. When learning about bondage and other elements of BDSM you'll learn that there's always a submissive and a dominant partner.

You might think that once you choose a role you have to stick to it forever but this isn't true. Switching roles is completely fine if you have a partner who enjoys it as well.

Bondage Can Improve Your Relationship

To some, bondage might seem like a strange kink but it can actually make the love in a relationship grow. Bondage requires you to communicate more with your partner and trust them enough to be completely vulnerable with them.

It's also a way to change things up in your sex life if it's new territory for you. Keeping things interesting and trying new things together can only strengthen your relationship.

Bondage Tips You Should Know Before Trying It

If you're interested in exploring bondage, the guide above has all the tips you need to get started. Communication is vital and trying different toys is encouraged so you can discover what you like most.

Check out our website to gets answers about any of our products, manage your orders, or join our mailing list.

What are Bondage Parties and Clubs?

Studies show that 36% of Americans practice some form of BDSM. You might be one of them and not even know it. The BDSM universe covers everything from light spanking to public gagging.

Bondage is a form of BDSM that's been around for centuries. The relationship between pleasure and pain is a deep, old mine.

Are you interested in learning more about this fascinating aspect of human sexuality? Read on to learn all about the history of bondage, BDSM, and bondage parties.

Bondage Beginnings

BDSM or Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism traces to the legends of Mesopotamia.

According to this legend, the Goddess Inanna used her whip to induce a sexual frenzy meant to save the civilization.

Etruscans

These ancient Mediterranian people were by far the wildest. They are also the early innovators of what would become modern BDSM.

One of the most famous Etruscan works of art, The Tomb of the Whipping, is a fresco portrayal of a MFM threesome. This painting depicts a woman whipped by her two lovers.

Europe

It's impossible to discuss the history of bondage without mentioning Marquis de Sade. A French aristocrat, Sade wrote sexually graphic novels depicting acts of bondage. These novels scandalized the aristocracy.

One of his most famous works, 120 Days of Bodom, describes a non-stop orgy of rape and torture.

Sade is the most famous European bondage devotee, by far. Many works of German and British art depict acts of bondage or BDSM as well.

American

Bondage hit a flashpoint as the pin-up model, Bettie Page, gained fame. As the 20th century progressed, the leather subculture gained more mainstream attention.

Into the 21st century, the rise of the internet boosted BDSM culture. Pornography, attainable bondage equipment, and an online community helped Americans become comfortable with BDSM.

Once 50 Shades of Grey and its film adaptation exploded, BDSM became mainstream.

The History of American BDSM Clubs

As you can tell, public displays of debauchery and lust are nothing new. The modern manifestation of BDSM grew out of post-WWII motorcycle leather clubs.

These were clubs where men could meet other men without fear.

In the Shadows

What started with motorcycle clubs grew into an underground scene. Urban centers across America blossomed with sex clubs, fetish clubs, and red-light districts.

Though these areas like New York City's Meatpacking District were well known, fetish and BDSM clubs existed underground in so many cities across America.

AIDS Epidemic

The 1980s AIDS epidemic and the drive to "clean up" cities meant that the fetish scene moved further underground.

Red-light districts were sanitized and transformed into cultural theaters and retail shops. A sexually transmitted epidemic meant a temporary scene stasis.

The Internet and Growth of Inclusive BDSM

The dawn of the new century brought high-speed internet access. With high-speed internet, pornography became more mainstream. As pornography mainstreamed, BDSM followed.

A push toward mainstream acceptance has led to the growth of the scene. These days, universities across America now have BDSM clubs students can join.

It welcomes people of all sexualities and kinks. The clubs focus on the practice of healthy sexuality and consent.

The Etiquette of Bondage Parties

No two BDSM parties are the same. The community has rules and etiquette that newcomers and scene veterans must follow. A master or a group monitors the party to make sure all play is safe and consensual.

Consent Is a Must

You are not permitted to touch anyone or anything without direct verbal permission to do so.

Likewise, nobody at the party is allowed to touch you or your sex toys without your verbal permission.

No Photographs

Privacy and discretion are the hallmarks of the BDSM party community. Though BDSM continues to gain mainstream acceptance, some party attendees may face backlash if their attendance is revealed.

No Drugs or Alcohol

BDSM parties focus on consent. Intoxication compromises someone's ability to grant permission for play. It also encourages people to act without consent.

Under no circumstances should you bring drugs or alcohol to a BDSM party.

No Penetration or Exchange of Body Fluids

Public bondage parties are sexual. They're not public orgies. Do not engage in any sexual behavior unless you're permitted to do so.

Most public BDSM events discourage full nudity and sexual activity. Even in a sex-positive atmosphere like a bondage party, it is improper to masturbate or touch yourself unless invited.

If you're on the guestlist for a private party, consult the Dungeon Master before engaging.

Bondage and BDSM are Healthy?

Recent studies show that bondage and BDSM have mental and physical health benefits. These studies also show that BDSM also has positive effects on romantic relationships.

Stress Reduction

BDSM sessions trigger biological effects that lower your body's cortisol levels (stress hormones). This effect is similar to a "runner's high."

Lowering your body's cortisol affects blood pressure, immunities, and insulin resistance.

Decreased Anxiety

Studies of BDSM participants show they often have a heightened sense of well-being. Their decreased stress hormones help mitigate anxiety and depression.

BDSM participants are also more comfortable in their own skin. They're less fearful of judgment from others and are more open to new experiences.

Improved Relationships

Successful relationships are built on communication and trust. Couples who engage in BDSM activity are expert communicators and trust one another with their safety and well-being.

These skills learned through BDSM have a positive impact on your entire relationship.

BDSM and Bondage are Inclusive

The history of BDSM and bondage in America is a history of the counterculture. Because many in the BDSM community were otherized, today's culture focuses on sex-positivity and inclusivity.

The practice itself traces its history back to ancient times. It's a fascinating part of human sexuality you should feel safe in exploring.

Are you interested in experimenting with BDSM? You need the right gear. Check out our fetish inventory on our online store, or visit us if you're in the Pearl, Mississippi area.

Bondage Gear & Accessories

Looking to add more B into your BDSM fantasies? Lucky for you, there is an abundance of bondage accessories and even furniture on sale to fulfill your wildest sexual dreams.

The sheer amount of choice and styles of bondage gear available nowadays may surprise you. More people are getting perked up by the thought of being tied down. Only your imagination can limit the pleasurable and painful possibilities of bondage for you.

If you are new to the wonderful world of bondage, this guide will help you discover and source the best accessories and gear to get started. Keep reading to learn more!

Blindfolds

Blindfolds are the ideal B for bondage accessory for BDSM beginners. You have likely seen one before so they are non-confronting and are not made to cause pain.

Blindfolds restrict the wearer's eyesight which heightens the other senses. They allow the dominating partner to take over control and guide the sexual act. Meanwhile, it doesn't have to be anything outrageous. Taking away a sense will make anything you do more titillating to the submissive party.

Sure, you could use a tube sock or a tie, but what is so kinky about that?

And why wear out your best ties when there are so many sexy blindfolds out there? Red satin blindfolds look and feel gorgeous but leather blindfolds take it to the next level.

Whips, Paddles, and Ticklers

Ready to kick things up a notch? No matter what level of pain you want to inflict (or be inflicted by), there is a whip or paddle that can deliver.

Beginners should start with paddles or crops. The larger surface area means you are more likely to hit your target which is essential in nipple play. They also do not tend to sting as much.

Fur fetish paddles are ideal for those wanting to build up a pain tolerance.

Whips, floggers, and canes, in particular, need a seasoned hand.

And if you are not interested in the pain aspect of submission, ticklers are the perfect type of bondage gear for you. You can opt for a two-in-one tickler and slapper in case you change your mind and want your dom to kick things up a notch.

Cuffs, Restraints, and Ball Gags

Restraints are what bondage is all about. The idea of being in total control of your sexual partner (or partners!) and them trusting you give them the pleasure or pain they desire.

So, cuffs, restraining bars, and/or ball gags? There is so much choice. On one end of the spectrum, you can choose classic furry handcuffs to restrain your partner.

But many BDSM partners will need more restraints and more options. Black leather cuffs give you the flexibility to not only restrain but inflict pain. Advanced BDSM lovers may also need ankle cuffs and ball gags for a complete restained experience.

When using ball gags, make sure you have a non-verbal safe signal for the submissive. Even in bondage play, consent is always sexy!

Collars and Leashes

Collars and leashes are the ultimate bondage accessory. Not only are they turn-ons for some BDSM fans, but they look cool and can be used as restraints, too.

And collars do not have to be those classic black leather ones, either! Though if they are your kink, you will find lots of options. Collars are available in denim, lacy fabric, and different colored material too.

Again, only your imagination limits you when it comes to bondage accessories.

Choose collars that can be attached to leashes and in different colors to match your sexy underwear. This red leather collar can become a leash but otherwise, it just looks gorgeous. People definitely wear collars like this as fashion accessories.

Sex Swings, Stools, and Pillows

Bondage enthusiasts looking to upgrade their sexual pleasure should look into BDSM furniture. Yes, bondage furniture exists!

This equipment also helps to make bondage more inclusive to those with physical disabilities. It allows those who do not have the flexibility of a yoga instructor to enjoy new positions. But anyone can enjoy what is on offer!

Sex swings are the most well-known bondage apparatus, but you could start smaller and easier. A simple inflatable, elevating pillow could give a big boost to your sex life.

Save your thighs by investing in a sex stool. Throw a pillow over the top by day and it just looks like any ordinary stool. You do not need to have a special red room of pain to hide your BDSM goodies away.

And if the idea of a sex swing intrigues you and your partner, the only way to satiate that desire is to try it out. The best sex swings can be adjusted by both height and angle. You will have so many new positions available to you that you will not know which to try first!

Sex Machines

Last but not least, the ultimate fantasy for any bondage lover has to be a sex machine. These sex toys are only for committed, die-hard pleasure and pain seekers that have the spare room or basement to store one in.

Sex machines are perfect for both single and coupled-up bondage fans because the machine will do all the hard work for you.

The type of sex machine that is best for you will depend on your preferences. This kinky cowgirl machine is ideal for anybody who likes to be penetrated but there are also stroking sex machines available.

Sex machines are becoming less taboo and offering more attachments, controls, and sexual opportunities.

Aftercare

Don't forget about the sting after a bondage play session. You may experience soreness and/or muscle aches after being held in specific positions for an extended period of time.

Make sure you hydrate right after the fun is over. This is all physically exerting and an orgasm burns more calories than other activities. Make sure you replenish yourself with water and electrolytes if you've been at it awhile.

You can also consider these balms and lotions to help with the sting of the morning after or to come back down to reality after a particularly intense session.

Explore Your Fantasies With These Bondage Accessories

Exploring the art of bondage is perfect for sexual partners who want to get off on power play. Using the right bondage gear and accessories will only heighten the experience.

They can turn an average after-hours fumble into a night you will never forget.

Romantic Adventures has a huge selection of bondage equipment as well as sex toys and naughty lingerie. Check out our full bondage collection to make your dominating dreams come true.